Today I have an exciting announcement. After aggressively selling scented oils for the last two years, I’ve finally saved enough money to start my own church, and ultimately denomination. While I respect many different churches, I always feel like there is something that keeps them from being what God really intended. My vision is to combine the best of the various Christian groups into one ultimate denomination.

My denomination will be called: the Apostolic, Presbyterian, Reformed, Independent, Liberal, Fundamentalist, Oracular, Orthodox, Liturgical Sect

While I feel it’s important my congregation understands how each of these elements impacts their lives, I realize this name is a bit unwieldy. Therefore, it will be abbreviated the A.P.R.I.L. F.O.O.L.S. church. If you feel like supporting this great end-time work please make your checks out to A.P.R.I.L. F.O.O.L.S. or you can simply give me cash if you see me on the street.